Episode
263
Anger is a natural emotion, but when it frequently surfaces, especially in professional settings like construction or contracting, it can become a barrier to effective leadership. In this episode of the Profit Tool Belt Podcast, host Dominic Rubino sits down with leadership expert Leah Diteljan to uncover why we really get angry and how addressing the root cause of our frustrations can lead to better outcomes in both personal and professional relationships.
Leah shares a critical insight: anger often stems from unmet expectations or obstacles standing in the way of what we want. More profoundly, it's often a reaction to something deeper, like a fear of failure, feeling out of control, or past experiences that have left emotional scars.
"When I'm angry, it's usually because someone or something is in the way of me getting what I want," Leah explains. "But once you start peeling back the layers, you realize that anger is often a mask for avoiding personal responsibility."
One of the standout moments in the conversation comes when Leah dives into the concept of personal responsibility. As leaders in the contracting world, it’s easy to point fingers when things don’t go as planned. You might be upset with a team member for not following instructions or a project falling behind schedule, but Leah suggests that these moments are opportunities for self-reflection.
"The second I realize I'm angry, it's not about the other person; it's about me. What did I miss? Where did I fail to communicate clearly?" she says. This shift in perspective is key to diffusing anger and turning frustration into productive action.
Leah also emphasizes the need for clear processes in leadership. She highlights that many leaders, especially in construction, expect employees to "read their minds." When projects go wrong, it's often because expectations weren't communicated effectively.
"In order to really scale and grow, we need to put processes before people sometimes," Leah advises. This doesn't mean devaluing your team, but rather giving them the structure and tools they need to succeed.
So, what do you do when you feel that familiar wave of frustration rising? Leah offers a few practical steps to help calm down and take control of the situation:
One of the major takeaways from the episode is how vulnerability and personal responsibility are interconnected. Leah recalls a story of a client who nearly fired his CEO due to frustrations, only to realize that his anger stemmed from unresolved feelings linked to a childhood experience.
By owning up to his emotions and addressing them directly with his CEO, the relationship improved, and the company thrived. This story highlights that leadership is not about being perfect but about being honest and vulnerable when necessary.
Leah's insights remind us that anger is a natural human response, but when left unchecked, it can cloud our judgment and harm our relationships. Whether you're managing a construction crew or running a contracting business, taking responsibility for your emotions and how you respond to challenges can set you on a path to better leadership and success.
As Dominic reminds us, being a great leader is about more than just running projects—it's about running yourself first.
Host: Dominic Rubino
Guest: Leah Diteljan, Founder at MindSpa
Summary:
In this episode, Dominic Rubino speaks with leadership expert Leah Diteljan about why anger is such a common emotion among leaders and what we can do to address it productively. Leah explains how anger often masks deeper issues, such as fear or lack of personal responsibility, and offers practical steps for contractors and business owners to manage their emotions and lead with clarity.
Key Takeaways:
Practical Tips:
Connect with Leah Diteljan:
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